My Ifs and Shoulds
May 16th, 2007 by michelle
Baby-Related ifs and shoulds:
- If this baby comes early am I going to be ready?! (My son was three weeks early- he was induced)
- I should have already done a million and a half things to prepare for the baby; like organize the baby clothes, figure out if I am going to actually use cloth diapers, get the baby’s room painted, get the entire house ready for the baby’s arrival, get our finances in order before we add another member to our family, etc, etc…
- If I have to go on bedrest again, what am I going to do??
- Should this baby come early, who will help out with our son before any family can arrive to assist us?
- If I go into labor naturally this time, how I am going to know when to go to the hospital?
New Faithful ifs and shoulds:
- If I haven’t gone to confession this month, should I take the Eucharist?
- I should have prepared myself more for another confession- paid more attention to my sins.
- If I am feeling isolated from the people at my church right now, what is the best way to fix that problem?
- Should I be reading the scriptures and saints every day- or just as often as I can? (when “as often as I can” really does mean that I can and should every day!)
- If I have been absent from my church for a while, what is the best way to begin to feel integrated again?
I have been having a hard time figuring out how to pray for these issues. I know that I should not be worrying- “for tomorrow has enough troubles of its own.” But I have always been the type of person who worries and stresses about things.
We tried to go to the Vigil tonight, but I felt so overwhelmed that we left early. Between my son’s inability to stay inside the Nave to my hormonal issues, I couldn’t even focus. I wish that I could find an easier way to enjoy the services- it seems like it is impossible with an eighteen month old and I can’t imagine that it will get any easier. I would love some suggestions from those of you who have been in this position! Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.
It must be hard trying to keep a small child under control while getting ready to have another one…of course I don’t know that from experience, so I’m just trying to imagine. I will keep you in my prayers regarding feeling more in touch with everyone at church while also trying to balance all the things to do at home.
First off, its good to have you back blogging!
Secondly, don’t worry about tomorrow, today has enough worries of its own.
Thirdly - you should speak with your priest about the confession thing.
Fourthly
18 months is a very hard age for things like church (or libraries and bookstores). It takes time and practice. The biggest mistake to make is to give up and not go because its a hassle. He won’t learn how to behave then. I know, I know, its very difficult and you’ll find yourself wondering “Why did I even come, I haven’t HEARD anything.” But Fr. Thomas Hopko said that for moms being there is their liturgy.
I have also found that it takes me time to adjust. If I miss Vespers too often the next time I go I find myself terribly distracted and disconnected. Perhaps this is what you experienced too with Vigil.
God bless. Sorry this is so long.
Hugs, I wish I lived close enough to hug you, and to hold your son while you rested in church.
Can you believe you are so close to the baby arriving? I know that I felt so ready once I had things folded, but I wasn’t all prepared for the birth - I kept saying to my midwife, “I haven’t dusted yet”
These feelings must be inevitable in late pregnancy. Don’t worry, every thing will come together!
BTW, I decided to cloth diaper this time, but I must confess we got a diaper service for four months as a gift from my parents. Soooo, I really love it right now. Not sure if we will continue the service or buy and wash my own diapers after. Either way, I think the service is a nice way to get your toes wet in the whole cloth diapering thing.
And yes, it is good to have you back blogging!